i dont understand myself

ok...so tonight at work, i was working in the kitchen and someone came in and told me that a guy at the bar was starting a little trouble. so, i went out to check things out and i found that one guy was up in this other guys grill. so, i stepped in and got between them. nothing happened but something inside me wanted it to. i was telling them that "this was not going to happen", but deep down inside i was thinking, lets go. i know this is dumb and dangerous and i know that something like this is not a game but still, i wanted to go. now, what is it about men that makes us this way. the smart thing is to stay safe and healthy, but its almost like thats not important. i dont know what makes men want to be dumb and violent and dangerous, but its there. is it the sport, the challenge, our competitive nature, or stupidity. i dont know what it is, but i know i like it. i gotta say, i dont think i want to change. now, im not saying im looking for a fight by no means, but i know that something in me is ready. weird...isnt it?

Urge

i have this urge and i have had it for awhile. i want a tattoo. i dont know of what or where, but i know i want one. one part that makes me nervous though is that its permanent. which means that it has to be perfect. first, its got to be the right thing, which means its got to be something that means a lot to me. second, its got to be in the right spot, because i dont want it somewhere that will look tacky when i dress up. so basically, i want to be able to hide it when i want to.

do yall have any insight of what i should get or where? let me know.

A Christmas Night

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Family

i gotta tell you, i look forward to spending another Christmas morning with my family, just like all the other ones, but each one special and better in its own way. i am very thankful for my family. i wouldnt trade them in if i could, and this sounds like something my dad would say but my family truely is the best Christmas gift i will have on Chritmas morning.

i think ive figured it out

i think i have narrowed down why riding a bike is so great. before we even get really started i have to say that im not talking about a bicycle, which is good, but not the topic of discussion. i am talking about motorcylces. here it is. its the reality in it. it is the smells, the numbness in your hands, the roar of the air rushing past your ears that sounds like a constant ocean wave crashing, the view of the yellow lines whizzing past your feet, the feeling of the power that comes from riding on top of an engine with two wheels, the loud constant blast coming from the exhaust, and the feeling of the wind on your face. it is like a sense's overload. which, as a side affect, clears your mind to only think about what your are doing at that time.

i figured this out over thanksgiving break. i went to florida to visit my parents and we left about 8 in the morning on friday and didnt get back until about 6 that evening. i was on my mom's lowrider, my parents were on the roadking, and my uncle and aunt were on their full dresser. it was one of the best rides i have ever been on. we were just cruisin. it was on the way back when i got to thinking about what makes this so great. why is this something that i enjoy so much. the answer...its the reality of it (as stated above). by riding a bike, you are forced to feel what you would normally never feel or experience by riding in a vehicle. the vehicle acts as a bubble that blocks you from understanding whats going on around you (dont get me wrong, i enjoy this aspect of a vehicle. thats why i drive one most of the time anyways). but, its that every once in awhile when i need to feel, like im really here...on this earth...thats what makes riding a bike so great. not to mention, you look really cool doing it too.

Restlessness

I feel like Alaska, Colorado, Kentucky, or Wyoming....well anyplace wild and untamed for that matter, are calling to me today. I don't know why today above any other day. But, I feel like the more time I spend in the library, the more I long for freedom and adventure.

I want to hang from a rope on a cliff.
I want to climb a waterfall.
I want to hunt big game.
I want to cook on an open fire.
I want to watch the fog rise in the morning while fly fishing.
I want to sleep under the star.
I want to study the beauty of the trees and say "God did that."
I want to feel alive again.

For now though, i'm sitting in the library...waiting my turn...learning what it means to persevere.

Honesty is the path to Christ and then to Righteousness

This is complicated....At least for my un-complicated mind.

I had a revelation last weekend. This is what it said, "honesty is the path to righteousness." Now, obviously Christ is the path to righteousness but bare with me. Its about being honest with yourself and where you stand in your heart. I think in this Christian life, we get caught up in doing the right thing and not being the right thing...We fail to look at the motivation behind what we do (and I say we but I mean me and assume others have done this too). You see, when you are face with a decision and it is obvious that one choice is the right path, the right choice, and you choose it because you think its right. It would be arguable that you can still be sinning in that. Let me explain, say you are faced with the choice of adultery (sorry, it was the easiest example to explain). Now, it is obvious that adultery is sin and is wrong. So, you choose not to commit adultery...Easy, right. But maybe you are still not choosing Christ in all of this, but you are only choosing not to sin and because of that you are still sinning. Do you get it? All you are doing is choosing the right path. You are not choosing Christ and by not choosing Christ you are sinning. You have to look deeper to the inner core of your heart and ask, what is my heart saying. Is my heart saying "I choose to do right", or does it say "I choose Christ."

All-in-all, you can't be good enough for God, it is not possible. It is only through Christ that you are righteous enough to enter into community with Him. Therefore, its not what you do but what Christ did.

So, I guess my revelation should state "Honesty is the path to Christ and then to righteousness."

This was my nugget of wisdom for the weekend. Let me know if this makes sense.


...by saying "choosing Christ" I am saying that I am choosing, in that moment, I want to worship Christ in this decision. It is saying that I am making this decision because I want Christ to be exalted

Victory

We have escaped death once again in death valley. We were announced the Clemson co-ed flag football champions on Thursday night after we beat WTE in the finals. It was a great game, both teams brought their "A" game.

Let me just say that, we have started something...The team I am leaving behind has to defend a two year title. I'm talking about a dynasty in the making here folks. I want to come back in 5 years and see that we are 7-0 for championships. I'm not kidding.

Tonights the night

Tonight is the night...tonight we play in the college flag football championships in death valley at 6:15. we need your support.