The process of Christ following

Selfishly, I kinda wish there was an obvious right or wrong, black or white, yes or no when it comes to God and His will for our lives. I find it so interesting that some things are very very clear as to the way God wants us to handle certain situations, while others are quite vague...we have to search and pray and seek guidance for. I honestly go back and forth on this topic. Most of the time I think it would be so much easier if God just laid it all out on the table for us to look at and understand. But, then when I think about it, I find myself liking the pursuit and the mystery of not knowing. I like realizing im not God and im not in control. I suppose that this is why God has it set up this way. It keeps us chasing after Him. We dont know. We are weak. We do fall down. And its though these times that He is magnified and glorified. He picks us up. He makes us strong. He changes our hearts so they face toward His again...and I love Him for it.

To sum it all up. God is God and I am not. And at first glance I want to be God...but after thought, I realize that I like that God is God and I am not. Its thoughts like these that help me to realize Adam and Eve weren't pathetic, they were human.

lets talk

so...i went on a mission trip this past week to chicago. great trip, really. God moved in so many peoples lives and used us to share His love with the people of chicago and we held nothing back. It was great.

but here is my issue. my heart goes out to the homeless. i truly hate that they are in this kind of situation and i would really like to love on them, but i refuse to give them money. i will not let them use it to get drunk or high. so, the solution is give them food...right. but why is it when i offer them food they look at me like i am a terrible person. aj and i went out one night about 10:30-11ish and we had with us a ton of burrito's(leftovers from feeding the mission trippers). im talking about so many burrito's that i had a hard time carrying the box it was so heavy. we had the hardest time giving those burrito's away that night. people would come ask us for money and we would offer them food and they cursed us. i just dont get it. how am i supposed to help. i have worked in enough homeless shelters to know that there are programs to help them get off the streets and on there feet. which tells me that there are people that have made a choice to be homeless and stay homeless. i just dont understand that. how am i supposed to help them when they dont want to be helped...all they want it a free hand-out to get drunk or high with. aj and i conversed about it and i guess the only solution is to let the people of chicago handle it. the only way to help these people is if the people of chicago say "thats enough" and come along side them and offer them a better life. its a lot like the theory of that a missionary wont save a nation. it will take the people of that nation, that live everyday with their countrymen, to impact them through relationships.

i know this is long...im sorry. it just troubled me that the "have-nots" would refuse generosity. i could be way off on all of this...i encourage you to form your own opinion.

its been a long time....sorry

yes...i know it has been a long time since i last put a blog in here. no real reason i guess. i have been kinda busy these past few weeks and i have been suffering from a little writers block. i have been on here a couple of times and the things i came up with were kinda crappy, so i deleted them. so, i am going to try to force my way through this time of drought.